Bring a Smile to Europe

Travel in Good Attitude
Nuisances, insults, public drunks, dogs, excrement, beggars, thieves, street hustlers.

Ex-wife Elizabeth and I were walking through Istanbul when this police van pulled up. The officer gave her a bouquet of flowers. The people of Turkey are very friendly. We enjoyed a week of interesting sights, shopping, and dining, and all at a very reasonable price. In this lifetime everyone should visit Istanbul.

Carpe diem. Vivere bene! Gratia Deo.

HOW TO EUROPE: The Complete Travelers Handbook
John Bermont

This entire book is published totally free on-line by the author, photographer, and webmaster, yours truly, with help from my daughter Stephanie. I welcome all questions, comments, compliments, and complaints. For contact information please see NOTE TO READERS. Updated 6 December 2015.

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Laff it off.

A sense of humor, prudence, and patience are attributes of good travelers.

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT

Guest Status

While you are in Europe, consider yourself an invited guest. You are not home and you will not find everything to your liking. Some things will be annoyances, mainly because of your lack of information and understanding of local customs, things, and folklore. Their's is not always wrong and yours is not always right — they are just different. That is a big part of the spice of traveling in Europe. Deal with it, or stay home.

Beee Cooool

A short temper will discomfort only you, and may raise resentment in whoever or whatever seems to be giving you a problem. At such moments, beaucoup more gremlins are often hatched, temperatures rise, perspiration flows, international relations harden, and your good times start turning rancid.

Take it easy. Laugh it off. It is far better to smile at adversity. If something is wrong, you most likely did it to yourself by acting without enough data or forethought. Mistakes are a part of your education. They should only cost you a little time and/or money.

Ears Are Open

The purpose of this book is to get you up on the learning curve for Europe and thus save you some of these uncomfortable moments, and wasted time and money. Restrain yourself from the temptation to criticize and ridicule. Instead, comment on how interesting or how unusual something may appear. Your conversation could easily be overheard and understood by others around you. Your choice of words may mean the difference between a scowl and a gracious explanation.

NUISANCES

However, there are a few things which can tarnish your good times through no fault of your own. The best defense is some extra care in avoiding these situations, or a quick escape when you find yourself already involved.

Politics and Perceptions

Your patience may be tried on occasion by comments about America of a political nature. Younger Europeans love to taunt us about American presidents, social problems, and foreign policy.

Two reasons for this criticism come to mind: one is the complete openness of American society in which all the dirty linen is run up the flagpole, and the other is the Marxist domination of European TV and radio broadcasting. Every American wrongdoing is exaggerated and every virtue is suppressed.

It's been more than 20 years since the Iron Curtain came down revealing the treachery and idiocy of communism. But true believers of Marx and Lenin still don't get it. The anti-American disintelligentsia holds sway over public opinion in Europe.

Meanwhile on the other side of the world, the heirs of dictatorship in the mold of Stalin and Hitler continue to rule with brutal force in Beijing. Ironically, five months before the beginning of the end of European communism, the Chinese communists murdered thousands of their own students who were holding a peaceful demonstration in the main square of their capital city. Had the Soviet communists shot the Leipzig demonstrators in 1989, as they had in Budapest in 1956 and Prague in 1978, Europe and the world would be a whole different place right now. The difference is beyond description.

Bad Capitalism, Good Communism

A few malcontents have fabricated a straw man which they love to kick around. The USA is maligned around the world, and in Europe. The roots of contempt and envy of Americans may be traceable to European educational systems. It is reported by some to include a far greater study of America than of any other foreign country, with emphasis often placed on treatment of the native American Indians and slavery. This is coupled with a group psychoanalysis of the supposed conformist, naive, moneymaking, arrogant, and aggressive characteristics of the American people. There is nothing we are not guilty of in the eyes of some people. They ignore the fact that no country in history can match the American record of welcoming people from all parts of the planet and providing the infrastructure to enable them to prosper beyond their dreams.

When someone tries to bait you into a political argument, just stand aside. Their mind is so completely fixed that no amount of talk will change it.

As one amusing example, I know a photographer in Holland who claims to be a communist. Yet he is practicing a trade for profit. He once asked for my advice about some Kodak projectors. He wanted to buy two of the latest models. I asked him why he needed two and he replied that he could then show his slides to customers more effectively and sell more photographs. His plan was to invest in better equipment so that he could make more profit. This is simply the essence of capitalism. He denied being a capitalist — he claimed to be a communist, period.

INSULTS AND KISSES

Holland

My European life began in 1975 in the Netherlands. The Vietnam War and civil rights abuses and demonstrations were fresh in everyone's mind. The young Dutch people whom I met in cafés knew America by these events. I remember one girl who told me in a very nasty tone "I don't like America." When I told her that I lived in California she beamed from ear to ear and said "I like California!" It's the image that counts.

Meanwhile the older Dutch could not tell me often enough how they helped American flyers escape to Britain during World War Two. Many American bombers crashed in Nazi occupied Holland after being shot up during raids on German factories and military installations. The Dutch underground would smuggle the pilots and crews out of Holland. My landlord once told me about two Americans whom he had hidden for a few weeks while the underground looked for a way to get them back to their airfields in England. The airmen were getting cabin fever so my landlord decided to take them out to dinner. While they were in the restaurant some German soldiers came in to eat. Fortunately none of the Germans noticed the two men who were silently eating with their right hands. (Europeans eat with the left hand.) Nazis were known to practice summary execution in Haarlem. That meal had the possibility of being my landlord's last supper.

Britain

Envy and ignorance seem to surface where you would expect them the least. British ego is a bore. Some British folks like to put Americans down by referring to us as the "colonists." Their historians must take pride in the role that Britain had in the establishment of the United States. Thomas Jefferson, then 33 years old, penned "A Declaration" on July 4, 1776 in which he and the other 55 members of the Continental Congress accused the British king of "Despotism" and of seeking "the Establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States." Such management of its colonies must be the reason why Britain is a former colonial master. King George III was not too amused with the Declaration of Mr. Jefferson and his colleagues. The despot king hired a professional German army to help do his dirty work. Our George and his army whipped them so we can celebrate Independence Day every year. Even the present "royals" believe that George III was correct way back then so it's no surprise that some "commoners" have an attitude toward Americans. Get over it, Brits.

France

Then there's France. Darn near everybody I talk with about France comes up with the statement that the French are nasty to Americans. Very few of these people have actually been to France, but they "heard this" from someone. WRONG! Go with an open attitude and you'll love the country and the people, and the food and the wine. The French love Americans and deeply appreciate the services of the United States Army in the two big wars of the last century. I arrived in Paris a couple weeks after Reagan's attack on Libya in 1986 and took up residence for five months. Several French people, total strangers, told me how happy they were with Reagan's attack on the terrorist Gadafi.

The main problem in France is the café waiters in Paris. They treat everybody just as bad so don't take it personally. It's just that Americans are not used to insults instead of service. French "diplomacy" is also a stick in the eye.

French like to protest. From farmers to students to air traffic controllers there seems to be a strike a month. Fortunately these are usually one day strikes to get some attention. One day "warning" strikes are used in other countries as well.

Germany

Germans are polite and certainly do like Americans, though there is a subcurrent of discomfort because of WW I and WW II. I lived there and picked up some of this in my daily life. You'll never notice this as a tourist. But a tiny minority still think that they could have won the second round except for one thing or another, but not blaming their idiot leader.

Eastern Countries

By the "eastern countries" I mean those that were under Communist Russia's domination for 45 years. In the eastern countries, Americans are a special lot. This is really amazing because just a few years ago we were all indoctrinated with the idea that the nuclear shoot-out between America and Russia could come any day. I attended the Alliance Française in Paris for a few months while Ronald Reagan was President. I loved to show the left wing students a Hollywood photo of the President in a cowboy outfit wearing a pair of pistols — just to prove that we were ready for those commies.

Well, the truth is that the easterners were treated so shabbily by the communist murderers who ruled them that you just can't put it into words. Most of them look up to Americans in the times they are going through, and welcome all of us. I am usually not too emotional but I remember coming home from my first trip to the Ukraine in 1991. I broke down in tears over the deplorable conditions to which those people had been subjected.

Patience is in order in the eastern countries. They tore down the statues of Marx and Lenin in the early 1990s and jumped into a free economy. Unfortunately they nearly drowned in it. Some countries went back to or stayed with a semblance of the old economic order, with a facade of democracy. It is going to take some time, perhaps a couple of generations, for the eastern countries to reach the standard of living and democracy existing in western Europe. This should be expected. The early history of the United States was not on a fast track either. After those men at Lexington fired the first shots against British law and order in April of 1775, the Declaration of Independence was not signed until July of the following year. Then the Revolutionary War lasted until the Treaty of Paris in 1781. George Washington did not become President until 1789 when the United States adopted the Constitution. That was about 14 years of upheaval until the Founding Fathers got their stuff together and made a nation. So, give the eastern countries a little time to get reorganized. In fact, some are doing quite well already.

APPROPRIATE RESPONSE

There are not very many insulting fools over there who will blame you personally for all of America's perceived sins. But if you bump into a mal-informed jerk, and if you're the kind who can't back out of a tongue fight once the other side gets in a hit, give them the KO punch — just mention that we won't be coming over for their next war. Their cemeteries already have enough young Americans who died for Europe's freedom.

ANNOYANCES IN THE STREET

Dogs

One common nuisance may trip your patience. You have probably never before seen dogs in hotels, restaurants, trains, and stores. Not until you have been to Europe, especially Amsterdam and Paris.

The dogs don't know any better. Their inconsiderate owners let them crap anywhere — on the sidewalks, in Metro stations, and several times on my doorstep. The authorities are posting more signs to the effect that owners should curb their animals, but there is still plenty of poop around. I sploshed in a fresh pattie on my last trip to Paris. Watch your step.

Public Drunks

Public drunkenness is common in Scandinavia, and can be seen now and again in other northern European cities. Swedish boys are the worse. These characters often get foul and verbally abusive, but can barely stand up so they are relatively harmless. If confronted by one or a group, do like the locals. Totally ignore him or them. The slightest acknowledgment will only bring you problems.

The streets of Paris have little "wine clubs" on a number of public benches, in the streets and in the Metro stations. These homeless and hopeless men and women are usually relaxing next to a half full bottle of wine, often with their colleagues and/or a German shepherd. Local citizens steer clear, and there's no reason for you to stop for a chat.

Beggars and Thieves

Begging seems to be institutionalized in some cities. Dublin has more than they need, and you are accosted often in the Mediterranean countries.

On crossing into Spain at Irun, I saw a sullen shabbily dressed young woman with a crying infant awkwardly slung over her arm. The other arm was outstretched as she went begging around the train station. It was a pathetic sight. Fifteen minutes later I was on the train and looked out the window. There on the platform she was standing with the baby in a bright new stroller and was cheerily waving good-bye to her friends on the train. So much for that act.

In Rome, I saw fathers training their children in the art of begging. In the Milan train station, I had to shake off one old woman four times. You do start to question your judgment at times, but I noticed that this woman was avoiding the Italians and kept picking on me. Her judgment was wrong. She didn't get a cent for her effort.

Many beggars are actually thieves. From my hotel window in Warsaw, I watched and videoed a young Gypsy woman as she approached people on the street. She only went up to people walking alone. Those who had a companion were not approached. Also, she would never approach a single walker when there was someone walking behind. She was obviously up to no good.

One of my favorite Sherlock Holmes stories is "The Man with the Twisted Lip." This will give you an insight into the begging profession. How profitable it can be is illustrated by the story from a newspaper reporter who stood on a street corner in New York in the 1960s for two weeks. He made the equivalent of $14,000 per year, more than I was making as a young engineer at the time, and his was tax free.

Street Hustlers

Athens has a lot of smooth talking hustlers working the Sindagma (a.k.a. Syntagma) Square area. They approached me a half dozen times a day offering to help me find something or another (I looked like an easy mark with a city map and a camera). Then they tried to get me into a conversation and go to their bar "around the corner." It takes more than "I'm not interested" to get rid of these insistent pests. Several times I had to resort to an abrupt "Get lost." After a few days, I started telling them immediately when they approached "I don't want to go to your bar." That usually worked, but sometimes I got the reply "What, you don't like our country?"

Amsterdam has more street hustlers than any city on the planet. I am approached at least twice every time I walk from the train station to the Dam, a 10 minute walk. When you are approached, don't smile, just laugh. If you do business with him he will be laughing. The old racket was dope, hash and cocaine. Nowadays the street hustlers are not doing so well since "coffie shop" businesses are legally selling mary jane all over town. At least one of the hustlers found a new product — he asked me if I wanted to buy some viagra.

Smooth talking characters like these are always walking on the other side of the law. If it wasn't a scam, they would be advertising on television. Don't let yourself become the next victim.

Have a good trip!

NOTE TO READERS

I welcome questions and comments. If you have any concerns about your trip to Europe that have not been covered well enough in this section please do not hesitate to write and ask. When you write please include relevant details, per the folowing paragraphs.

I do not open attachments. I do not click links to web pages of any kind. I will reply in a day or two, usually.

Do not forget to smell the hyacinths. At your liesure scroll through the Table of Contents of How To Europe: The Complete Travelers Handbook and read all 30 chapters, FREE on line. Good deal! You'll probably find the answers you seek, and some you didn't know you needed.

My email address is [email protected].

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What a dandy of a camera! It includes a GPS that automatically sets the internal clock depending on which time zone you are in. You'll always know where and when you took the shot. Panasonic Lumix ZS20 14.1 MP High Sensitivity MOS Digital Camera with 20x Optical Zoom

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Bring home the memories. Olympus FE360 8MP Digital Camera with 3x Optical Dual Zoom (Silver)

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This is the camera that I use, Nikon D60 10.2MP Digital SLR Camera (Body Only)

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with this amazing zoom lens, Nikon 18-200mm f/3.5-5.6 G ED-IF AF-S VR [Vibration Reduction] DX Lens

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and this filter to reduce reflections and enhance colors. HOYA 72mm Circularizing Polarizing Filter

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This tripod clamp is a handy accessory. CLAMP-POD Adorama SMALL 4001

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Absolutely the best battery for digital cameras which use AA batteries. Energizer
AA Lithium Batteries
4 Pack

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Plug adapters are needed throughout Europe. There are at least five models used in different countries.
Note: The highlighted #E number is purely arbitrary. It is meant to help quickly identify products in this advert column when you write in for electrical advice.
See NOTE TO READERS.

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This adapter is for the standard grounded plug in France, Germany, and northern Europe. It does not fit in outlets of Italy, Switzerland, Ireland, and Britain.
#E-010 Grounded Universal 2 in 1 Plug Adapter
European Schuko plug.
4.8 mm prongs.
Equivalent to type E and F.

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You can use this ungrounded Euro plug in some European countries.
#E-020 Universal 2 in 1 Plug Adapter
Euro Plug
4.0 mm prongs.
Equivalent to type C.

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This is a universal plug adapter for the UK and Ireland.
#E-030 AC Adapter Plug for use in England, Scotland, Wales, and Ireland
Equivalent to type G.

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Here is the Swiss version.
#E-040 Grounded Universal 2 in 1 Plug Adapter
Type J for Switzerland

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Here is the grounded Italian model.
#E-050 Grounded Universal 2 in 1 Plug Adapter
Type L for Italy

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This 50 watt 220/110 volt step down transformer is good for very small 110 volt appliances and light duty chargers.
#E-070 Travel Smart by Conair 50-Watt International Transformer

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Rolling luggage sure beats lugging a pack on your back. Travelpro Luggage Maxlite 2 20" Expandable Spinner

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A shoulder bag for your daily walk-about. Travelpro Luggage Maxlite3 Soft Tote

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Keep your stuff organized.
Luggage Packing Cubes
eBags 3pc Set

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Wear a money belt under your shirt to protect your passport and valuables, especially if you are staying in hostels or dorms. Lewis N. Clark RFID Blocking Waist Stash

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A Swiss Army Knife is unquestionably the handiest item a traveler can carry, except not on a plane. Victorinox Swiss Army Huntsman II Knife

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